My First Rescue....Part One

So yesterday, actually the day before yesterday, I got a call. She started with, 'This is a very big deal and I want you to know you can say no if you really can't or don't want to do it.' Immediately I felt a knot of dread form. The call was from Rande, the director of Karma Rescue and I was sure it was going to be bad news, like I needed to pick up a dead dog or Brandy was in trouble or hurt or something really, really horrendous had happened. It was bad, but not as bad as my head invented.

South Central has the most hard core shelter in LA. Hundreds of dogs, most abused, abandoned or used for unsavory things, like dog fights. Lots of Pits. The most abused dog in the US and the most misunderstood. Highest kill rate. Worst conditions. I hate shelters. Even the 'good' ones make me so sad I can't even stand it. My heart just can't stand going inside and seeing those sad eyes, those lost souls. I want to love them all, make their pain go away, save them.....but it's not possible, and so I turn my eyes away and try not to think about it….that would change with Rande’s phone call.

I brace myself for Rande’s question….'There is a dog that comes available tomorrow…and…no one can go and bail him out.'

I don’t think I say anything….and so she continues….'He’s only a year old and was brought in covered in gang graffiti.' My stomach lurches. 'I want to get him out…before….before anyone else can get him.' And then the bottom line…'Can you go save him?'

Go. And. Save. Him. And then my head adds, 'Before the bad men come and take him back.' I can only hear the echo of those words. Terrifying to me. Go. Save. Bad. Men. Go. Save. Bad. Men.Go. Save. Bad. Men.

My mind is stuck on the defenseless boy getting spray painted. Scared, being held down by violent assholes who probably think it’s funny. I can see them in my mind….laughing, drinking, having a good ole time. ( Go. Save. ) The dog’s eyes filled with terror. Maybe even with love...and certainly with confusion and sadness. (Bad. Men.) It could be that the ones who did this to him “owned” him. My heart broke into a thousand pieces at that moment. And with my broken heart, I knew I would go and save him. Even if….

Even if I had to see hundreds of others just like him. Ones I couldn’t bail out. Ones with scars and eyes too sad to even look into for long. Even if….(Bad. Men.)

And so I said….'There’s no one else?'

And she replied, 'No one.'

And I asked again, 'No One? Well….' Huge pause. I knew what I was going to say, but I still didn’t want to …. 'I’ll do it if you can’t find anyone.' What a dumb thing to state. I knew there was no one else. She just told me several times. But that small part of me still wanted to stay in denial. Not open my eyes to see the sadness that lives in a shelter. But the other part of me couldn’t. I held my breath.

She said, 'I’ll make a few calls and see if I can find someone. But you’ll do it if I can’t?'

'Yes. Yes, I’ll do it..... If you can’t find someone.....the only reason I'm hesitating....'

'I know...' she said and hung up.

I was in Rite Aid at the time of the call. I couldn’t concentrate on my list of things I needed. I was talking to myself….back and forth. Wanting to call her back and say I changed my mind. Wanting to call her back and say don’t call anyone else, I’ll do it. Torn. Scared. Sad. Just like the dogs.

Her call came about an hour later. Maybe less. It felt like forever.

'Bad News.'

On no, we’re too late. Someone got him…a bad man. He’s dead. Something really horrendous has happened to him. Again.

'There’s no one else.'

And so I get a pen and paper and start writing down everything I need to do. Addresses, first one at the shelter, phone numbers, must get there first thing in the morning, directions, animal birth control, be careful, you can still back out, micro chips, are you sure, more phone numbers, use my address if you can, thank you, (Bad. Men.) more addresses, vet's name. Holy shit….can I do this? I’m already panicking. South Central, what if I get lost or shot or some gang guy is there to adopt him and waits for me outside because I got there first and steals him from me,…..God, I’m dramatic! But that’s what was going on inside this brain of mine.

So now I’m ready. My alarm is set. I have my itinerary. I know just what to do. I don’t, however, know what to expect. Rande told me under no circumstances do I go into the kennel and see the other dogs. She knows my heart will explode. She knows I couldn’t handle it. I tell my husband. He is nervous for me. He knows I might go into the kennel. Just to see. He warns me not to. I hope I listen. And so I fall asleep and dream of my coming adventure….only I’m a super hero with very special powers. And in my dream I am hunting down the violent assholes of the world...Hunting. Them. Down....and bringing justice to all….Justice. To. All.

ALL.


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Thursday, January 5th, 2006 - 10:46AM
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